Lugou Bridge is Falling Down, Falling down...

I finally got to bed early tonight and was in a pre-sleep fog when my roomate came in to announce:

"Hey Chris, I do not know if you know, but the, my embassy? It just called and they say there will be an earthquake and not to be inside the building from 10 to 12? 6.6 size earthquake. Aye, just so you know."

I said oh, while wondering why my embassy never calls me. Probably because I don't play on their soccer team.

Then I debated whether I should sleep or get dressed and ready. 10pm is 10 minutes away. Normally this would be nothing interesting because as far back as I can remember I've been immortal, but the quality of Chinese civil engineering has been one of the lower points of my time here. Actually the lowest, as everything from my bathroom floor, to a tunnel, to an entire track, becomes flooded with water quite easily.

In the event of an earthquake I can imagine our whole dorm going down. I'm up on the tenth floor and pretty sure that if the building falls it'll be into the street, meaning I'm on the bottom of the pile. If it stands, then I'll die in the subsequent fire with no escape--because there is no fire escape. There are stairs, to be sure, but those aren't lit, have no emergency lighting (were they to be lit) and last I checked they were locked by a gate on the fourth floor for a reason which eludes all of us. I almost bought a crescent wrench so I could unhinge it in a pinch, but never went through with it.

If it does fall, there will be a lot of equipment nearby for clearing the rubble. They have been tearing up the road underneath me for the past 5 days, solely at night. And if it falls, it might kill some of the workers down there I've come to loathe. For all I know they're the ones gonna cause the building to fall with their incessant drilling, jack hammering, sawing--which by the way, is not followed by building, repairing, or constructing, but rather just the sound of huge steel panels sliding around on asphalt with a rusty and decrepit bulldozer to cover the gaping holes leftover. These panels are adjusted on the hour so as to better enable taxies and bicycles to nearly collide on once what was just your average Chinese deathtrap.

On the bright side, if the building doesn't fall or catch on fire, it may cause my bedroom wall to cumble which will give me access to the fat girls next door who are playing awful Russian dance-pop at 10pm on Monday night.

It's cool. Sweat to the dance grooves. Just do it more quietly and don't dance when you're doing it so I can tell when the earthquake starts.

Well, my roomate left so I better find my flashlight. If I don’t post for a few days it’s because I can’t find my computer in the rubble.